melodiesofkupo | 01: Reality $ TEXT

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01: Reality $ TEXT

[Okuyasu opts for a text message rather than a video as 1) it's kind of easy to figure out after some practice - it's like a computer, only the keys don't get stuck and 2) he hopes fewer people will recognize him from the tiny icon.]

you know after the past few days i think im finally getting that this is all real
that im not dreaming that i woke up in outer space and went to a planet where magic is real
does that make sense?

i guess what im trying to say is i suddenly realize that i was sleeping in a real bed in a real house and ate real food
but at the same time i cant completely accept it yet
and its confusing

i know it sounds pretty dumb but thats how I feel

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Mm. Yeah, I can tell.

[It's not the greatest thing ever, but it's not gross. Just warm and filling.

He's not going to leave the bowl half-finished. Might as well make use of a free dinner.]

Yeah, it's a great first try, but...

[ He scowls a bit, shooting a glance at the larger stew pot. ]

I didn't expect the produce to be similar to Earth. Like...

[ He chuckles, shaking his head in casual disbelief. ]

Interdimensional fantasy vegetables are easier to work with than stuff from another planet. I wasn't expecting that at all.

[Okuyasu makes a muffled sound, realizes his mouth is too full to speak, and swallows his food.]

Isn't that what cooking with weird vegetables is like? There's a ton of things I've never seen before, even if it's from another country. But if you already can go out in space, I guess planets are more like countries, huh?

Closer to towns, actually. [ He laughs, and shakes his head. ] Most of them aren't on our level of technology, so they're pretty... rustic.

[ That's the most inoffensive way to say "medieval" he can think of, and it'll have to do. But then his eyes start to light up a bit. ]

But the weird thing is that since aliens can have totally different biochemical structures, there are things from Earth they probably couldn't eat, and things from their homes that we couldn't eat.

[ He starts to giggle, which is odd, considering: ] That means that if I'm not bringing my A-game, people could die. [ A beat of silence. ]

Which would be bad, clearly. But it's a great challenge for a Gourmand like me!

[ Lucky for them both it's just before they can start getting asterisks. ]

Shit. [That's impressive, actually. Hunk can go to other fucking universes how is any of this real?] Man, I guess eatin' food not made for humans is bad news, but it takes a genius to make it work.

[Therefore Hunk is a genius at cooking, much like--]

I knew a guy that could make spicy food I can eat, and he didn't even use his powers to do it! It takes a real pro just to get to that level, maybe it's easier to cook for aliens when you got scientists helpin' you out...

[ Hunk would've done a bit of a hair-flip at being called a genius, but it felt far too like Lance for his own comfort. And then the gauntlet was thrown down. ]

He needed powers to make a good spicy dish? Jeez. [ He scoffs, and even rolls his eyes. ] Lucky for us, I am a scientist. Well, a mechanic, engineer, physicist, chemist... and cooking's just edible chemistry.

[ He's saying this like none of it's a big deal. Because it's totally not. ]

[He knew Hunk was smart, but that's pretty smart. Of course Okuyasu doesn't believe all of it, but he's cool.]

Nah, Tonio's powers are about healin' people. Like the spicy spaghetti was for fixin' my cavities, but he's just that good 'cause he studied all over the world. [A slurp.] Dunno what they teach in culinary schools.

I.... what?

[ Hunk's entire ability to parse reality just died. Hold on, he needs to reboot real quick. Please endure these few seconds of slow blinking. ]

Spaghetti doesn't fix cavities. Where did he learn to do that? [ A beat. ] How can he just heal people?

[Okuyasu remains nonchalant.] It's his Stand's power. I guess he was just born with his. Me and most other people need to get one.

[By getting shot but we're trying to have a good time here.]

It's sorta like how people here got Jobs, but it's weird to be a Freelancer instead of the other way around, you get me?

Yeah, okay... [ He trails off, still struggling a bit to understand. ] So he's like a... white mage. With spaghetti.

[ He squints. ] Pasta he-al dente?

...he-al?

[He struggles with sounding out the words and attempting to spot the pun. A few seconds later, he's not sure if it goes over his head or it's plain terrible.]

Whatever. But he can do that with other meals, too. The first time I went to his restaurant, I got this dish with tomatoes and, uh, Mozzaza cheese that fixed my shoulder and a lamb dish that fixed my guts. Plus the mineral water he's got is super good.

[He looks down at Hunk's stew. Talk of Tonio's cooking has made him nostalgic for the best Italian food in the world, and as filling as this dinner is, it cannot be compared.]

Man, I'm gonna miss that place.

[ Hunk just watches as Okuyasu struggles with the pun, with the nostalgia, with... missing his home. He feels for the guy, and so he barely, barely restrains the urge to ask more questions about that healing food. Instead... ]

You never know, there's probably a master chef White Mage somewhere out here. Might be similar. [ He sighs, smiling. ] Or not, and you get to brag about what your friend could do. [ Hunk himself was a bit inspired by this guy's cooking, even if it made no biological sense. Stands are weird. Magic is weird. Why is everything from other worlds so weird? ]

It's not gonna be the same. Even if Tonio was a foreigner, we were both from the same planet. It's easy to get each other if you got common ground, yeah? 'S different here.

[Everyone is a total stranger. There is no frame of reference for Hunk's universe, nothing about the people he sees in the streets.]

No one else knows about the same movies, or the same history, or any of the small things that make up society. It's just...weird. I met a few people also from my world [Different Earths, but let him have hope.] But I still feel all...lost. Like an outsider who knows nothin' about anything.

[ Hunk's demeanor deflated with Okuyasu's, and it was... really sad to see the guy's pain. This guy, who was so ready to talk about how big and scary he was, feeling so lost and alone. ]

I don't know your Earth. [ He looks down at the ground. He can't even make eye contact. It hurt Hunk just to say that. But it's true- he doesn't know anything about healing spaghetti. ] But I got taken from mine, thrown across the universe, and forced to fight against an alien empire. So I... kinda get it. It sucks.

[ He sighs, struggling to figure out what to say, how to help his friend. And then he gets an idea. ] But everyone knows food, no matter where you're from. You like food, obviously. Why not use that?

[Whenever he felt small and afraid, all Okuyasu had to do was to dress up like a tough guy and act like a punk. It helped keep up his spirits to survive another day, subsisting on cheap goods and only receiving help from his older brother. Keicho was right, he did cry a lot, but pretending that he was strong and capable like him alleviated so much of the stress.

But in the past several months, Okuyasu found that some people were okay with him being a crybaby. It was fine to be sad around other people.

Despite that sadness gradually turning into frustration. He might have to leave soon.]

It's not like I can afford to eat out every day. Would be nice, but I don't even got a job. [So no treats for working hard. If his housemate Uendo found employment, he could ask him to take him out once in a while in exchange for cooking dinner. Or cleaning the house.] Think they'll throw some parties at the Curti Center? That's when they'll have all kinds of Vacent food.

[Vaikuntha, Okuyasu.]

A welcoming party would be a really good idea, actually. [ The tone in Hunk's voice shows he's taking the idea seriously, but there's a hint of snark because if it hasn't happened yet, will it ever? ] How else am I supposed to learn all the native recipes?

[ Of course, Hunk is a bit far-removed from the plights of typical teens. He can tell that Okuyasu is about his age, so... ] Are you doing school here? School cafeterias aren't great, but...

[ And then he gets a little smile, continuing before the guy could answer. ] Either way, you can drop by here every so often for some free food. I could even help you learn some recipes, if you don't wanna spend money eating out all the time.

I'm flown to the one in that mountain continent over there. [Myste Aure. There's too many names to memorize.] But I'm also gonna be taking basic history and lit classes here.

[A sigh.] Man, it sucks having to repeat a grade you never took.

[But that's where all the people his age are going and he needs friends.]

You mean it? Even if I drop by for dinner every day?

Maybe not every day. Like two or three days a week? [ But Hunk smiles. It's genuine, warm, and not at all condescending. ]

But I'm pretty good at math and science and stuff like that. [ Y'don't say, brilliant space engineer. ] So I can probably help you with your homework, too.

[ Hunk would have to do some nerd-recon, first. ] What grade did you miss?

Pretty much everything from first grade, but they said I can take subjects like math and writing in regular schools. Did you know they don't make you wear a uniform at the public school? How am I supposed to show I'm a street punk if I'm not wearin' a modified uniform?

[RUINED.]

F-first grade? Dude... [ Hunk just kinda stares for a moment, but then sets that information aside for later. He's definitely gonna have to help Okuyasu out. What in the world kept him from going to school after first grade?

But he finds a way to make the conversation a bit sunnier. ] If you don't have a uniform, you can wear whatever you want. [ And then he closes his eyes and chuckles for a moment. ] Just pick whatever you think a street punk would wear.

[ Although... Hunk had no idea what that would even look like. That's part of the fun, he supposes. ]

[To be frank, he's referring to missing Vaikuntha first grade, but his schooling in Japan was sporadic considering he had to help around the house often.]

I dunno. Baggy clothes. Sometehing in the yankee style. [It doesn't have the same effect if "yankee" isn't a familiar term on this planet...but it might mean something for people from Earth.] Think wearin' shiny ornaments works here, too?

[ Hunk blinks for a moment. Yankee style? Fashion was already weird, and he had no idea what Okuyasu was getting at. Although, an idea pops into his mind that demands deadpan... ] You should turn a Christmas ornament into an earring.

[ And then he narrows his eyes, the gears turning at lightning speeds. ] Unless they don't have Christmas here. [ Hunk looks crushed, but it's not going to hold him back! ] Or you could wear robes, those are baggy.

[ He's definitely helping. ]

[That is a dangerous suggestion when the Jojo universe has not limits to what is considered proper clothing. Okuyasu's eyes widen to comical size.]

Dude...that's such a good idea! If I wore earrings, that is. But then I'd forget I'm wearin' them on my jacket and break them. [Hm...He props his chin on his fist, imitating the well known sculpture The Thinker. There has to be some other way of utilizing Hunk's suggestion.]

There's other shit people use on Christmas that don't break, right? I can't really get in fights wearin' a robe, but I can switch out my ornaments for somethin' cooler here.

[ This was a joke Okuyasu, why are you taking it seriously? Stop. Hunk wanted to let out a groan of exasperation, wanted to tell his pal to stop taking weird fashion so seriously, wanted to... see how far this rabbit hole could actually go. ]

Tinsel. [ Deadpan. Serious. ] Y'know, the shiny fuzzy-feeling stuff people wrap around Christmas trees. [ Like a feather boa, but lower-budget and probably made of fewer animals. Why... does this sound like something an animal rights activist would endorse? ]

You can either wear it like a scarf or attach it to your clothes. Give the robes some shine. [ And he starts to laugh a bit. Is it well-natured? Or is it predatory? It might just be both. ]

[Nothing should be a joke. Hunk has mad a terrible mistake.]

Yeah! [He hits the side of his fist onto a palm.] And there's no way people can't see how awesome I look! What if I put it on my sleeves? Like tassels and shit? Shit, it's look good if I wore something white, won't it?

[Araki would love this fashion disaster.]

So that can be my casual outfit when I'm goin' out shopping. Man, I need to ask you for good ideas more!

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