01: Reality $ TEXT

[righthandstand]

[Okuyasu opts for a text message rather than a video as 1) it's kind of easy to figure out after some practice - it's like a computer, only the keys don't get stuck and 2) he hopes fewer people will recognize him from the tiny icon.]

you know after the past few days i think im finally getting that this is all real
that im not dreaming that i woke up in outer space and went to a planet where magic is real
does that make sense?

i guess what im trying to say is i suddenly realize that i was sleeping in a real bed in a real house and ate real food
but at the same time i cant completely accept it yet
and its confusing

i know it sounds pretty dumb but thats how I feel

Comments

[righthandstand]

[That is a dangerous suggestion when the Jojo universe has not limits to what is considered proper clothing. Okuyasu's eyes widen to comical size.]

Dude...that's such a good idea! If I wore earrings, that is. But then I'd forget I'm wearin' them on my jacket and break them. [Hm...He props his chin on his fist, imitating the well known sculpture The Thinker. There has to be some other way of utilizing Hunk's suggestion.]

There's other shit people use on Christmas that don't break, right? I can't really get in fights wearin' a robe, but I can switch out my ornaments for somethin' cooler here.

[chefbayardee]

[ This was a joke Okuyasu, why are you taking it seriously? Stop. Hunk wanted to let out a groan of exasperation, wanted to tell his pal to stop taking weird fashion so seriously, wanted to... see how far this rabbit hole could actually go. ]

Tinsel. [ Deadpan. Serious. ] Y'know, the shiny fuzzy-feeling stuff people wrap around Christmas trees. [ Like a feather boa, but lower-budget and probably made of fewer animals. Why... does this sound like something an animal rights activist would endorse? ]

You can either wear it like a scarf or attach it to your clothes. Give the robes some shine. [ And he starts to laugh a bit. Is it well-natured? Or is it predatory? It might just be both. ]

[righthandstand]

[Nothing should be a joke. Hunk has mad a terrible mistake.]

Yeah! [He hits the side of his fist onto a palm.] And there's no way people can't see how awesome I look! What if I put it on my sleeves? Like tassels and shit? Shit, it's look good if I wore something white, won't it?

[Araki would love this fashion disaster.]

So that can be my casual outfit when I'm goin' out shopping. Man, I need to ask you for good ideas more!

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk is all-in on this now. Okuyasu takes his joke ideas and turns them into reality, which is everything he never knew he wanted in a friend. ]

Nah, wear black. [ He looks down towards his own yellow-and-white armor. Not acknowledging it for a moment. ] Then the tinsel will stand out more. [ And he nods, confident in this disaster human he is enabling. ]

And it sounds fancy- you sure it's casual wear if it's that sparkly? [ Did you know Hunk is living for this? Because he is. ]

[righthandstand]

Yeah, I'm not gonna wear it in a fight. It'll tear, obviously. [He rolls his eyes. Silly Hunk, thinking that you can't make an unrealistic fashion statement in casual outfits. Everyone who wants to be part of the plot needs to dress for a party.]

[chefbayardee]

You didn't seem to have any problems casually getting into a fight on the airship. [ And he laughs, bringing it up both to bug Okuyasu and to hopefully point out that casual wear might need to be a little sturdier. ]

I meant that it sounded like formal wear, though. The sort of thing you wear to a big party, y'know?

[ Hunk's spirit will leave his body if he sees Okuyasu wearing this to a formal event. ]

[righthandstand]

[Then pray that there will be no formal event until someone learns the Life spell.

Okuyasu huffs.] That's my pride as a delinquent on the line. If I'm wearin' that outfit on the street, I'm not gonna get into fights that'll ruin it, duh.

[He would if Josuke had Crazy Diamond around to patch it up before anyone noticed.]

Besides, the only parties I'm gonna go to are birthday parties.

[chefbayardee]

But... [ The thought snags in his brain. Okuyasu, how do you keep doing this to him. ] Don't delinquents get into fights? And, y'know, cut class and break the law...

[ And then his eyebrows raise. Birthday parties? Oddly specific. ] ...And don't they tend to go to wild, dangerous parties? [ It's weird enough that Hunk's starting to think that Okuyasu isn't much of a delinquent at all. He has to stop himself from saying "like in the movies," because Okuyasu could respond in a weird way. ]

Like in the movies. [ Welcome to the final frontier. ]

[righthandstand]

Yeah. I come late to class when I can. Me and my friends loiter. We shoplift. [A grin.
Petty theft is more fun when you have superpowers.] And I get into fights whenever I feel like it. Delinquents don't follow the rules of society!

[In Japan, that can be as minor as modifying their school uniform. Just being "different" is enough to draw attention, and if it makes Okuyasu tough so be it.]

Man, my big brother never let me go to those sorta parties alone. There used to be all sort of crazy shit goin' on in Tokyo, but Morioh's so small it's almost sad. [He leans back on his chair.] But I got new friends, so I don't care anymore. Besides, how'm I gonna have a job if I don't finish high school?

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk just kind of stares at Okuyasu for a moment. He actually does delinquent things? Didn't know he had it in him. Then the delinquent mentions new friends and wanting to do things like finish high school or get a job. ]

Finishing high and getting a job doesn't sound like something a delinquent does. [ And he's got a bit of a smirk, because he knew Okuyasu was a good guy. ] What kinda job are you looking for?

[righthandstand]

[Nooooo he's a badass punk! He breaks things!]

That's 'cause they don't got anything to worry about. How're they gonna keep being punks if they don't have money? [Snort. Yeah, they need to look cool, but they should do that without breaking the band.]

I dunno. I guess some construction company will hire me if I'm strong enough.

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk does a sort of double-take at the point from Okuyasu. A delinquent that wants to get a well-paying job so he can survive? There's a lot more to him than Hunk expected, for sure. ]

You can do anything you want here, and you want to lift heavy stuff? [ He's a bit condescending. You can't really get a better job than Defender of the Universe, after all. ] With how you reacted to my cooking, you could probably make it as a food critic.

[righthandstand]

[He scoffs dismissively.]

Nah, I was just excited. I'm better at the stuff that doesn't need much thinkin'. [He props a foot on the seat of his chair. Casual, rude sitting. See, he's a punk!] I'm strong, and there's nothing illegal about doin' labor.

[chefbayardee]

You've got a point there. [ And he just chuckles. The way Okuyasu talked about that food was something else for a normal-ish teenager, though. ]

You're still a pretty unique guy, Okuyasu. [ He's not gonna call him weird. Nope. ] Are all delinquents like you? [ Because Hunk's a bit too straight-laced to know otherwise. ]

[righthandstand]

Hey, if I was like everyone else, I wouldn't be much of a delinquent! [A large grin.] Even if I'm a yankii my big brother and I designed our own uniforms to match with each other and no one else!

[chefbayardee]

[ Okuyasu's dabbled in fashion design?! What. A. Character. But coordinated outfits with his brother? That was... kind of adorable, if Okuyasu wasn't a teenager. But as much as he wanted to needle the guy about that... ]

A yankee? [ Blink. Blink. Staring. ] I thought you were from Japan, not New York. [ Did he miss something? Probably. There's a lot going on with this guy... ]

[righthandstand]

[Bonding with his brother was a good memory among all those shitty ones.

He pout.] Not yankee the American, ain't that obvious? Yankii like dressin' like an American. It's real popular with delinquents.

...Do Americans really call themselves Yankees?

[chefbayardee]

I mean, I'm sure some of them do. They're a baseball team, and people are weird enough as it is. [ He rolls his eyes, because in all honesty humans are almost weirder than the aliens he's met. ]

But yankee and yankii sound basically the same, and if yankii is dressing like an American, then what's the difference? And- [ He stifles a laugh. Very poorly. ] What do you think Americans dress like?

[righthandstand]

...I've seen those commercials with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jodi Foster. And I read magazine about America, too!

[chefbayardee]

Okuyasu. [ You know that one meme? Hunk's reenacting it after just a few moments of silence and blinking. ] Arnold Schwarzenegger was German. Or Austrian. European. Whatever.

[ Hunk's from far enough into the future that Austria's just a footnote, but he's one to focus on details, so. Onto the next: ] What kind of magazines did you read?

I'm dying

[righthandstand]

He's an actor in American movies! [He retorts indignantly.] Besides, he's still Western, right?

[Therefore it's not much of a stretch to refer to him as American. God, he feels so proud for figuring that logic puzzle.]

Like, the ones they got at convenience stores. They have a ton of articles about Americans and movies and shit. [They're all celebrities, though.]

S A M E

[chefbayardee]

Those are tabloids, Okuyasu. [ He takes another moment to blink and stare. ] You know those are trash, right?

And if you go west for long enough, you end up where you started! [ And Hunk whines for a moment, before steeling his resolve. ] Have you ever even had a cheeseburger? Apple pie? French fries?!

If you wanna be a Yankee, you gotta eat the food. [ It always comdz back to food. ]

[righthandstand]

They're not! [Tabloids have gossip! And are for older women! He doesn't read tabloids!] I read up on news about real world shit, not just movies!

[He pulls his feet on the chair, wraps himself with his arms defensively.]

I had a cheeseburger when I lived in Tokyo. And I had French frieds. [He shared with Keicho after a tip to McDonald's. They don't have American chain restaurants in Morioh.]

[chefbayardee]

Okay, well, you have the internet here. You can read the news on your iMog Slate. [ He's terse, but compassionate. Okuyasu going through convenience store tabloids was mentally painful to Hunk. ]

One cheeseburger. Was it good, or was it McDonald's-tier? [ He is, of course, thinking of American McDonald's, but still. ] And no apple pie, either?

[ Hunk might be mentally sketching a trip to MogDonald's sometime soon... ]

[righthandstand]

[Ugh, fine. Hunk's being the adult here but Okuyasu doesn't have to act like he obeys him. He's not his brother.]

It was good. [It was dinner.] McDonald's ain't shit. Just didn't have apple pie 'cause you get those in bakeries.