[Text] The Hardest Part is Cleaning Up Afterwards

[strawberryredgrave]

Glad that's all over. I really didn't need another reason to hate Mondays, but there it is.

So it's time for me to come clean: I didn't spend all my money on potions and chemist stuff. On the off chance this was the time we took care of team Ramaamut, I took the liberty of marinating and slow cooking a few summer favorites, including the shawarma. We're gonna have us a well earned vacation, boys and girls! But we could do better than the restaurant, right? I think so. Instead, we're booking the hot springs in Myste Aura, get ourselves a nice, early take of summer. Sound good? Sounds good.


Also completely unrelated, but Bass is insisting I tell everyone the mortgage I took on Dante Must Fry a few days ago. Pretty worthwhile investment, right? No one died, except for when Phoenix gave us a mulligan. Turns out this zora's not gonna be the only thing red here in the restaurant!

Bass really didn't like that joke.

So in case anyone knows about a little freelance work somewhere, I'd appreciate a point in the right direction.

Comments

[mech_and_mutt]

Stop saying "keeping up with" the heroes! You ARE one of the heroes!

Heck, you were making Bahamut's attacks look like a joke tossing around those postions.

[strawberryredgrave]

Alright, alright. It was a group effort. Expensive, but a hell of an investment.

Speaking of worthwhile efforts, you looked comfortable punching out Ramaa.

[mech_and_mutt]

So we've gone from trying to out-stunt each other to trying to out-compliment each other?

But thank you. It'd been too long since I'd actually put the DAHAK to proper use.

I kinda feel bad you're always stuck on healing, though. I never get to see you bust out that chef's knife.

[strawberryredgrave]

Chemist turned out to be more useful than I thought. Don't mind it; Job Lore's great.

Doesn't mean the chef's knife's gone dull any; got Gourmand completed after all of this, so I can do the things no one wants to see.

[mech_and_mutt]

That's

Nice.

How often do you have to actually DO that?

[strawberryredgrave]

Not often. Something most people don't know? Gourmand's actually kind of a magic class. Based on an old arcane tradition called Blue Magic. It's about learning attacks monsters can do and using them yourself.

Gourmands can kinda learn 'em from for a while if they're hit by it, but learn 'em permanently by eating them.

[mech_and_mutt]

Don't get me wrong, that sounds REALLY cool, but

I've never SEEN the eating but just hearing it nearly made me lose my lunch. Is it as bad as it sounds?

[strawberryredgrave]

Let me put it this way:

Each guild occasionally does demonstrations, right? Part of the Gourmand guild's is an entire banquet. The other half

They suggest people not eat until after sitting through the other half.

[mech_and_mutt]

So

Why do you WANT to do that? These moves better be worth it.

[strawberryredgrave]

Honestly? Main reason I picked it up a while ago was for the cooking. Curti Center needed a few extra hands. A friend pointed me in the right direction after the hamster incident, so I figured "why not? Chemist and Gourmand play two roles." Got to open up my own place after that.

It was too late before I realized the blue mage part, but I'll take what I can get. You've been around long enough to see what kinda monsters are around; I think you know how useful it'd be to have some of 'em on our side.

[mech_and_mutt]

How are you gonna get that them on our side by doing THAT to them?! Are you hoping they'll be too scared to fight us when they hear about it?!

[strawberryredgrave]

Not them! Their moves. You know: a cactuar's thousand needles, a malboro's bad breath, a wyvern's white wind...things like that.

[mech_and_mutt]

Well of COURSE you'd get bad breath from eating a malboro. I don't wanna know how something like that tastes.

...What monster IS the tastiest? Do they teach you that?

[strawberryredgrave]

Depends on your tastes. I'm a fan of Ochu myself; I like using them in shawarma since they got this nice earthy taste to 'em. Kinda like steak and mushrooms, but without the mushrooms.

Merrow's my go-to for seafood. Nice all-around hunk of fish. Little secret, though? Elementals make for great seasoning.

[mech_and_mutt]

WHO DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO EAT AN OCHU??

[strawberryredgrave]

Answering questions like that is why historians exist.

My best guess is how history is usually made:

It was a good idea at the time.

[mech_and_mutt]

I'm almost afraid to ask but

What happens if you eat a bomb?

[strawberryredgrave]

You learn to explode.

Not something anyone recommends.

[mech_and_mutt]

I don't know what I was expecting, but somehow I don't think that was it.

What about a skeleton? Guessing you cook the marrow?

[strawberryredgrave]

Oh, for the bombs, that's if you eat 'em outright. Cooking them? Adds some spice. You can add a pop rocks effect if you know how to handle 'em, but that's not used for much.

Skeletons can make a good broth, gotta say. Eating 'em outright? Think it was something about draining someone's magic. I don't remember.

[mech_and_mutt]

I guess I forgot not everyone just goes for the bones raw.

You should try them sometime, though. They're good for your teeth!

[Or something. Either way it looks macho.]