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melodiesofkupo2018-09-11 05:17 pm
acceptedlife) wrote in melodiesofkupo2018-09-11 05:17 pm
Entry tags:
letter + voice
[Early in the morning, almost as if it were timed, every single Native OC who was at the dinner last month and every Outworlder receives a similar physical packet. In it is, written in neat handwriting, a letter placed atop two different manila folders.]
Hey.
Most of you have never heard from me, but of those who have seen Futaba's notes on what we know so far, you may recognize my name. I am Takeshi Nakagawa, an Outworlder like most of you who receive this. Previously, I was a Hero of Light.
By now you've likely heard of the tale of Crystallis and how the journey ended for four of us. I was not one of them, but I witnessed their sacrifice along with countless others. It is because of their deeds that we are all here this day, for if they did not, all worlds and all universes would have been wiped out by a threat that posed to consume and assimilate them unto themselves and into an existence that doesn't know life or death.
I do not share this with the intention of scaring anyone, but to inform you all of what has been hinted at and danced around. What we may face in the coming months may well hinge on what we know.
As a promise for the future: I intend to keep sharing these words gathered here to every person who shows up in the Dream Width. 'Cuz those who turn their backs on the past risk history repeating itself.
I will post something on the network shortly after everyone should be receiving this. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me there or mail them to me physically. For those who arrive in the coming waves, you can always reach me via the contacts list if my name has not been grayed out.
We need to be prepared, and face whatever comes our way head-on.
Also, as some of this concerns a certain problem, do not share this with anyone outside our number until the world leaders agree to go public about it.
- Takeshi Nakagawa
[Said manila folders of information are labeled Crystallis' Status Report (outdated, obviously) and Addendum: the World of Ruins and the Aftermath. About three hours after the characters receive this, a post on the linkshell shows up. The voice is tired, likely from having worked on assisting with custom jobs all day. Yet his voice remains crystal clear:]
Hey. If you're not completely distracted by working on these custom jobs, you've likely seen the letters I've sent most of you by now. Ran out of paper while working on one for the Center employees. If not, take the time to read them before responding to this. For those who have: I expect you all have questions after the letter I sent. If I can, I'll try to answer them.
For those who don't know me, I'm Takeshi.
Hey.
Most of you have never heard from me, but of those who have seen Futaba's notes on what we know so far, you may recognize my name. I am Takeshi Nakagawa, an Outworlder like most of you who receive this. Previously, I was a Hero of Light.
By now you've likely heard of the tale of Crystallis and how the journey ended for four of us. I was not one of them, but I witnessed their sacrifice along with countless others. It is because of their deeds that we are all here this day, for if they did not, all worlds and all universes would have been wiped out by a threat that posed to consume and assimilate them unto themselves and into an existence that doesn't know life or death.
I do not share this with the intention of scaring anyone, but to inform you all of what has been hinted at and danced around. What we may face in the coming months may well hinge on what we know.
As a promise for the future: I intend to keep sharing these words gathered here to every person who shows up in the Dream Width. 'Cuz those who turn their backs on the past risk history repeating itself.
I will post something on the network shortly after everyone should be receiving this. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me there or mail them to me physically. For those who arrive in the coming waves, you can always reach me via the contacts list if my name has not been grayed out.
We need to be prepared, and face whatever comes our way head-on.
Also, as some of this concerns a certain problem, do not share this with anyone outside our number until the world leaders agree to go public about it.
- Takeshi Nakagawa
[Said manila folders of information are labeled Crystallis' Status Report (outdated, obviously) and Addendum: the World of Ruins and the Aftermath. About three hours after the characters receive this, a post on the linkshell shows up. The voice is tired, likely from having worked on assisting with custom jobs all day. Yet his voice remains crystal clear:]
Hey. If you're not completely distracted by working on these custom jobs, you've likely seen the letters I've sent most of you by now. Ran out of paper while working on one for the Center employees. If not, take the time to read them before responding to this. For those who have: I expect you all have questions after the letter I sent. If I can, I'll try to answer them.
For those who don't know me, I'm Takeshi.
no subject
Hearing them being described as being similar to the darkness of the heart is uncomfortable knowledge, but not surprising. How many times had his own darkness arisen to remind him of all the things about himself that he didn't want to admit? How many times had Xehanort's Heartless tried to manipulate him by using his weaknesses against him?]
So the only way to be free of the Calamity Selves is to admit to the things you've been trying to hide? It sounds like the crystallization only delayed the inevitable.
[The mention of Sora brings his mind to a halt. Particularly the part about him being the one who gave Takeshi those scars. He stares at them in half bemusement, half horror. If there is anyone who could successfully fight off the darkness in his heart, he would expect it to be Sora.]
...Sora became a pawn? Sora?
[It's going to take some time for him to wrap his head around this one. But when Takeshi mentions volunteering he knows that it's the best opportunity to get at what he really wants to know.]
What was it like...facing your Calamity Self?
no subject
[As far as he knew, no one went back to check until months later, when it was all over.] That's why Sora turned, before being crystallized again like the others. [He frowns.] And not just Sora. There were others from home, too. Kairi and Aqua, if I remember correctly, were in the crystallized heroes wing of the hospital too. Used to visit every week. A few more joined them and countless others from different worlds, even Naminé. Never saw them awaken as what the locals wound up calling "Heroes of Darkness" though.
[Left unspoken is the fact that is more an elephant in the room beyond his own past beyond their worlds: he was the last of those from their worlds standing at the end. Takeshi's eyebrows furrow.]
I was there when she faced hers, and Crystallis still- [He shakes his head. He knows he didn't fail her, but it feels like it; and he still saw her as a friend.] That's just it: you're never free. Not really. Though considering we don't have crystals and can only have one active job at once? I'd say you won't have to worry about it like we did.
[He lets that sink in for a moment while he debates how much detail to go into his own Calamity Self. Screw it; it's likely obvious at this point.]
...Facing my own shadow, was something I wish I could have done on my own. It isn't just admitting to the things you're trying to hide. It's others seeing those aspects of you, too. [His eyes narrow as he stares at an empty space on the table, hands clasped in front of him as he rests his elbows on his knees. There was a lot he tried to hide.] Everything you denied, everything you hid, thrown into your face. For me,
Well, you likely heard of the theory of alternate realities by now, right? ...We're unwitting proof that's true in some cases.
I hid everything from my past from the point when I faded away to the point I woke up in that plaza. I tried to forget I wasn't the sole survivor of what that witch did to our worlds. My anger at being the one who lived while countless died.... and not wanting to fade away forgotten and failing to protect the ones I love.
no subject
[It feels strange talking about these things, because while he knows these things did happen to Sora and the others, he has trouble reconciling them with his own memories. For him, Sora and the others hadn't gone anywhere else. But in some alternate universe, possibly this universe, they had. And bad things had happened. And the part that eats at him the most is the fact that he's far too late to do anything about it now.]
You don't think the Calamity Selves could happen here. [It comes out of his mouth too flat to be a question, but he can't help reiterating it, like it should be comforting. Maybe at another point in time it would be, but after hearing about what Takeshi and his friends had to go through, to be relieved that he's being spared feels like cowardice.
His eyes fall shut as Takeshi describes how others had to see what you've been hiding. It reminds him too much of how it had felt for Kairi and Sora to see him wearing the face of Xehanort's Heartless. For them to know how far into the darkness he'd had to sink. If he could he would have hidden that forever. But now he knows better.]
I don't blame you for wanting to hide away from all of that. I understand it. But it sounds like by hiding you gave your Calamity Self plenty of fuel. What did it feel like to have the truth come out? Did the weight of the past feel any lighter?
no subject
[His mothers were examples of the third option, but he wasn't going to see much of the aftermath, anyway. He had affairs to set in order before he... went back. A finger brushes against the pendant that yet hangs across his neck. He never got to.]
Not in the same way, if it does. [That much he's certain.] And it didn't. Facing one's Calamity Self is shining a light on what remained hidden. Accepting it is only the beginning. [It's living with it afterward that's the real test.]
no subject
He's still working on living with it. But it's gotten easier every day. Mostly.]
But once you accept it there's less to fear. [A small smile appears on his face.] You accused me before of being afraid of the darkness. It was true at the time because I wanted nothing more then to be free of it. But once I realized that I couldn't, that it was a part of me, I didn't feel so afraid anymore.
[He looks down at his hands, fiddling them in his lap. He's not sure he can look Takeshi in the eyes while he says this.]
Maybe you were my Calamity Self. [He shakes his head.] That sounds bad. I don't mean it to sound like I think you're evil...now. I just mean...you helped me see things about myself that I never wanted to. But I think it was...necessary.
[Way to make things awkward.]
no subject
It even earns a huff of amusement, instead of anything else.] I believe the term your looking for in this case is a shadow. No calamity involved with us.
[He got what the other meant. And he'd long accepted what it would be, what it would take, to become more. The memories he gained since helped with that.]
I was a tool, and an idiot. So if whatever blind loyalty I had to the Organization that made me helped, you're welcome. [Though the way he says it likely gives away a lot before he outright says it.] I... don't remember much of the time before going topside. A few fragments have come back, thanks to time and trying to pull on a few of those links, but most of what I know was written on reports another collected.
[Thanks,
ObamaVexen and Larxene.]